A Kiss In The Night
by DeanHeartsCas
Summary: Mark helps Jackson study, in doing so he falls for the resident. They share a kiss and from there their relationship takes a turn. Rated as M as there will be graphic slashiness at some point.  I guess spoilers for season 8 if you don't know the context
1. A Kiss In The Night

_**AN: I'd just like to say that my medical knowledge is zero, zilch, zippo so it is probably not the best idea I write a Grey's Anatomy fic but I couldn't help it so just kind of, bear with me on it and if you spot any mistakes…er…don't tell me? Ahaa**_

_**Also, I think Avery not knowing the answers to these questions makes him seem like the worst doctor ever but that's just because I don't know any of that shit so just imagine they're the rarest diseases ever or something! There's also a reason for his stupidity that I'll explain in other chapters. As always thoughts are italics!**_

**A Kiss In The Night**

Mark groaned as once again Jackson got another question wrong. He ran a hand over his face, sweeping away some of the weariness and annoyance he felt.

"You're better than this Avery!"

"I know I am. Damn it!" Jackson cried out, crossing his arms and slumping back onto the couch like an annoyed five year old before glugging some more beer. He'd only had two bottles so Mark knew it wasn't the alcohol that was affecting him.

"Right, list all of the symptoms of a pulmonary edema. Now."

Jackson ignored him for a moment before leaning forwards, resting his hands under his chin and concentrating. Mark watched him from the other end of the couch and was about to ask again when Jackson started to answer.

"Excessive sweating, difficulty breathing, pale skin, er….I...anxiety!" Jackson answered, turning towards Mark and smiling before wincing at the look on Mark's face.

"You forgot coughing up blood."

"Fuck!"

"What is wrong with you man? You can do this, you know this stuff."

"I just…I….don't know…"

"I'm telling you, you need to get laid. This is getting serious."

"Shut up." Avery said, shaking his head and looking away.

"No really, you need some release and then that way you should be able to concentrate on this stuff. Go out, find somebody, get it out of your system and then get back in the goddamn game!"

"I told you before, I don't have the time."

"And I told you before, there's always time."

"Whatever. Look, I gotta take a leak. Be back in a few minutes."

As Jackson got up from the couch Mark couldn't help but run his eyes up and down the doctor's figure, taking in the t-shirt that clung to his upper body and defining his slim but toned chest and stomach. He noted the jeans and the way they clung to his hips and ass, curves running into straight lines that sent a shiver of lust down Mark's spine. He shook his head and chuckled at himself as he finally tore his eyes away.

Things with Julia had been stale lately, going from hot and exciting to boring and hopeless in the space of a month. They'd grown apart and even the sex had become non-existent. A few months later and the relationship was still puttering along even though it was ending. They both knew it but neither of them wanted to be the one to break it off. Mark had had numerous chances and thrown each one away, finding some excuse to back out of it. He wasn't even sure why he was being like this but for the moment it seemed he was stuck.

Then there was Avery. Jackson Avery who was desperate to pass his boards and needed all the help he could get. From a medical and tutoring point of view Mark had been happy to help, Jackson was eager and smart and he had taken him under his wing. Then something had started to happen and now Mark was pretty sure he was falling for the resident. He'd already gotten over how he thought of Jackson as Jackson in his head but called him Avery to his face. He'd find himself staring at him at odd moments, thinking of him when he actually had time to think and then there were the lustful thoughts. He'd be scribbling notes onto a chart, something important that needed his full concentration and then bam! His mind would take over and there'd be an image of Jackson, naked and spread out on a bed, always stroking some part of himself, just staring at Mark. There had been more than one occasion where he had had to sneak off to the toilets to clear these images out of his head. He'd found they wouldn't leave until he had taken care of the hard problem down below.

Then there were the times when Jackson came over to his apartment and one of them would end up cooking a meal and they'd end up drinking together after it. If you took away all the studying, medical questions and different trauma scenarios they discussed and ran through during the meals and drinks, the experiences themselves felt so close to dates that Mark was often left feeling a little dizzy after them.

He held himself back, partly because he was technically still dating Julia but mostly he didn't want to ruin what they had. After Derek, Jackson was his best friend and even now Derek didn't have as much time for him what with being busy with Zola and Mark understood that, Sofia was a handful at the best of times. That was just how it was but the relationship with Jackson, the friendship, it was nice and he didn't want anything to destroy it. He enjoyed their 'study sessions' or their 'dates' or whatever the Hell they were called. But on the other hand, he desperately wanted Jackson. Wanted him in a dirty, hot and passionate way that actually made him blush whenever he thought of it.

Studying the cue cards he tried to distract himself but when Jackson came back from the toilet he couldn't help but admiring that figure all over again enjoying, just a little bit too much, the muscles on Jackson's arms and how his jeans strained against his thighs as he walked.

"Did you hear me?" Jackson asked, waving his hand at Mark as he sat back down.

"Yeah. Wait, what? No, I didn't." Mark replied, shaking his head and bringing himself back.

"I asked why you were all red?"

"Oh, er, you know, just the heat and everything." Mark answered, stumbling a little over his words. He saw Jackson glance out the window where the night was thick with heavy rain and an icy wind then back to him.

'"Right. Okay." There was silence for a moment, one that seemed to span a lifetime whilst Mark furiously thought up another excuse. Before he could think of one however Jackson spoke. "I think that maybe we should start over. Take it from the top and run through it again."

"Avery, that's the second time you've said that."

"I know. Just…one more try!"

"Look I do-"

Please, Mark, I just need to go through it one more time and maybe I'll have better luck."

Mark sighed and shook his head, staring at the bottle in his hand. He glanced up at Jackson and knew it was a bad mistake the moment he saw those big baby blues flashing the puppy dog look. _Damn it_, he thought to himself and before he knew it he was agreeing.

"Alright, alright. But you go get some beer."

Mark sat back and started gathering up the cue cards but soon found himself eyeing Avery's ass. He watched as the resident bent over and searched through the fridge before grabbing a bottle and popping the caps off. Another shiver of lust coursed through him as Avery drank some of his beer, large swallows making his throat constrict and his Adam's apple bob. A brief image flashed into Mark's mind, his tongue sliding slowly over that lump before moving upward and tracing Avery's strong jaw before slipping back down towards that mouth, his tongue caressing those full lips before pushing past them and into that hot wet ca-

"You okay?"

Mark jerked as he was pulled from the fantasy and heard Avery's voice. He looked up and saw the other man standing before him, holding out the beer, his eyes wide with concern.

"You blanked out for a little and you're blushing again."

Mark grabbed the offered bottle and took a large gulp of his beer, avoiding Avery's eyes which somehow meant that his own travelled downwards and stopped at the crotch that was only a couple of feet away from him. His mind started to wander as he stared, noting the bulge that he could quite clearly see and was easily within an arms reach. Before another image could take hold he shook his head and forced out a laugh.

"Yeah I'm good and I wasn't blushing. It's just, you know, the heat." _Jesus back to that excuse! _"I'm also wondering when you're going to show me that you're actually a doctor, that you actually went to medical school and give me a correct answer."

Jackson gave a chuckle and laughed before crashing down onto the couch and sighing. He threw one arm over the back of the couch and drank some more beer before turning to look at Mark and smiling.

"Alright, one more go."

A couple of hours later and they had reached the final card. Mark wasn't hopeful, Jackson was doing terrible once again and both of them were feeling the frustration. As he read the card he was pleased to see it was a moderately easy question and he was pretty sure that Jackson could get this one. Happy in the knowledge that they'd end this session on a good note Mark looked up at a sullen Jackson and grinned. 

"Okay. You've got this! Give me the five definite symptoms of Liver Disease."

"Well, there's the jaundice and there's two types of that. Yin and Yang obviously. Then you've got your digestion and appetite where the patient will stop eating and lose a lot of weight. Er, third can be light colouration of stool. Next you have, er, next is…" Jackson paused and massaged his head with his hands. Mark could see him thinking, his heart sinking as he watched the other man struggle. "Oh! Bloating and distention! Bloating and distention which is caused by hepatomegaly or ascites. Then there's polydipsia and poly….erm, poly…fuck I know this! Polysomething, polysomething, poly fuck it! I can't remember." Jack groaned before falling back against the couch and covering his face with his hands.

Mark sighed and threw the card down, finishing off his beer in one last gulp.

"It was polyuria. Frequent urination. But look, don't sweat it too much. You got everything apart from that and you were pretty close!"

Jackson ignored the encouragement and sat there, angry and annoyed at himself. Mark decided against more sympathy, knowing it'd probably only piss him off more. He considered seeing if Jackson would want to run through some of the cards again before he glanced at his watch.

'Shit! It's 3:30! I'm in work in four hours. Fuck." Mark jumped up, groaning internally at the small amount of sleep he'd receive.

'Oh, Sloan, look I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to keep you up, I didn't even realise the time.

"It's alright." Mark reassured him and to his surprise he found out that it was. He didn't mind because the hours he could have spent sleeping had been spent with Jackson. _Fuck_, he thought, _I've gotta stop falling for this guy_. "Look, if you want you can stay here, crash on the couch if you like then we can ride into work together. You know, just for the convenience. I mean, it might be a little difficult for you to get a cab at this hour anyway right?"

"You don't mind? I mean, if you're okay with it then yeah I'd love to." Jackson said, nodding his head and glancing down at the couch.

"Nawh, it's fine. I'll go get you a blanket." Mark told him before heading off to hunt down a blanket that'd be warm enough. He'd had to almost bite his tongue from suggesting to Jackson that he could climb into bed with him rather than the couch and he'd almost said it too. Thankfully he'd been able to hold back and now he'd get the pleasure of seeing him first thing in the morning. He grabbed a spare duvet from his cupboard and headed back down the hall and into the living room.

"Here, you can use this. You know where the bathroom is, there's juice and stuff in the fridge if you need it and my bedroom is just past the bathroom door on the right. You know, just in case you need to give me a shout or something." Mark added hastily as Jackson gave him a funny look at the bedroom directions. "I'm gunna be waking up at 7 so I'll get you up then too yeah?"

Jackson nodded and smiled at Mark. "Thanks. For helping me study and letting me stay and…just thanks."

"No problem." Mark responded, they stood there for a few moments. Jackson looking slightly awkward and Mark wanting to rush over and just kiss him. Finally he broke the silence. "Well, goodnight."

"Night."

Mark turned and headed for his bedroom, resisting the urge to run back and drag the man to his bed. He bit his lip and clenched his fists and somehow made it back to his room without so much as a backward glance. He shut his door and leaned against it, sighing and letting his head fall. Weariness hit him and he almost fell over. He was tired, so tired. Dealing with Sofia, Callie and Arizona, Julia, Jackson's studying and both their careers and the direction they were going was getting too much for him. He managed to strip his clothes off and wearing only his underwear slipped under his covers. Sleep took him before his head had even hit the pillow.

Mark's eyes flew open as a cramp in his bladder hit him, he groaned quietly as the urge to pee took over his whole mind. Throwing back the covers he staggered out of bed and managed to reach his bedroom door which he flung open. The cramp eased a little as he headed towards the bathroom, enabling him to walk a little straighter. As he reached for the handle, however, it turned and the door opened from the other side. Mark tried to slow down but fell through the doorway and right into a topless and pantsless Jackson. They both gasped as they collided, bare skin meeting bare skin in a hot kiss as they stumbled. Mark pulled back when he regained his balance and the cramps flew from his mind as he took in the sight before him. The harsh light of the bathroom revealed Jackson's underwear clad body, his skin a hot caramel colour and his well-defined muscles looking chiseled and strong. His eyes travelled upwards, over his chest, up that long neck, over his face and into those blue depths. He saw something then; just a glint but he saw it. Lust and want and need and a lot more all rolled into those blue orbs. Before he knew what was happening Mark had rushed forwards and pressed himself up against Jackson who gasped as Mark's hands cupped his jaw. Both inhaled a shuddery breath, eyes locked, chest's rising and as they fell their lips met. Neither was sure who made the first move but they both suddenly found their lips pressed together, a soft kiss yet hard and wanting. Jackson's hands came up and rested on Mark's hips, his grip light and soft. A couple of seconds passed by where there was no movement, no breathing, no noise except for their own two beating hearts and then one, again neither was sure who, opened their mouths just a little and that was all they needed. It grew fast and hot, lips slipping against the other before tongues were introduced and forced to fight one another. For a couple of seconds Mark claimed dominance but before he could push into Jackson's mouth he took control back and forced himself into Mark's. They tasted each other and moaned as it flooded their mouths. Hot, wet, passionate. They knew nothing other than the other's mouth on theirs.

Mark was in Heaven, his heart beating hard in his chest and when Jackson pulled back he assumed it was simply because he needed air. However when Jackson's mouth didn't return to his he opened his eyes and was dismayed by what he saw. Jackson's eyes were wide, this wasn't any puppy dog look, this was utter fear and seeing it frightened Mark.

"Wha….what? What's wrong?" He asked, still breathless from the kiss.

"We…I….shouldn't." Jackson spluttered, also breathless. He stepped back out of Mark's grip and took a deep breath. "We shouldn't be doing this. I can't. I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine. I…no." Mark tried to explain but before he could get any further Jackson pushed past him and headed for the living room. "wait, no, wait. It's fine. Honestly, please wait."

Jackson didn't look up as he grabbed his clothes and threw them on. Mark could hear his panting and was worried; he could also hear his own blood beating in his ears and it drowned everything out. He shook his head, still trying to explain but Jackson was now fully clothed and heading for the door. He chased after him, not wanting this to happen, never even imagining that this could be happening.

"Hey, seriously, just wait." Mark cried out and sighed with relief when Jackson stopped at the door, his head down. He caught up to him but before he could do more than reach out Jackson had pulled the door open and turned to him.

"I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. I'm going to go. Bye." And with that he fled out of Mark's apartment, leaving the door hanging open. Mark stood there for a few moments, debating whether to chase after him some more or let him go. Numbly he closed the door deciding to leave it, wondering how the night had ended like this, how their kiss had ended like this. He sighed and started to head back to his bedroom and as he did he remembered why he had woken up in the first place. After relieving himself he climbed back into bed and lay wide awake, pondering what had happened, Jackson's reaction and what would happen later that day. He felt sick as he thought of how things would be between them now but he was sure Jackson had wanted it, there had been a look in his eyes as they had stared at each other and he'd kissed him back! For a whole 30 seconds he had kissed him back damn it and there had been something there! Hadn't there? _Are you sure you didn't just imagine it and take advantage of him? _His inner voice teased. Mark rolled over onto his side and lay awake until 7am came. As the incessant buzzing of his alarm clock rang out and seared through his brain he sat up and dreaded what the day would bring.


	2. I'm An Avery

_**AN: So here's the second chapter, hope you guys like it. I just want to say that I've put a line break in between the paragraphs an that **__**means that, like, time or a couple of hours have passed. There was meant to be one in the pervious chapter between Mark falling asleep and waking up (normally I hate it when it just jumps) but for some reason they didn't show. Hopefully this works! Enjoy!**_

**I'm An Avery**

Mark somehow dragged himself into work, a nervous knot settling at the bottom of his stomach as he walked through the doors of Seattle Mercy. He wasn't sure how today was going to go and working with Jackson would probably just make it worse but they had to talk. They couldn't just leave it and pretend it never happened, well he couldn't and he wouldn't let it be like that anyway. He wanted something to come of this and he knew that he'd have to break things off with Julia, but before he did any of that he wanted to speak to Jackson. He'd felt something when they kissed and Jackson _had_ kissed him back and he _had_ wanted it. Breaking up with Julia had been a long time coming and maybe, just maybe something else would start anew. But there was also the fact that Jackson had run away. Mark pushed that thought aside and focused on what he'd say when he saw the other doctor.

He took the long route to his locker, making sure he walked past the Resident's changing room. Jackson was there, sitting on the bench and tying his shoelaces but there was too many of the others around. Meredith and Christina was chatting away right next to him, Karev was leaning against the wall eating an apple and waiting for the day to start and Kephner was pacing the room studying notes. She glanced up, saw him standing in the doorway and waved enthusiastically. Mark jumped, raised his hand in return and fled before she called out to him. He didn't want to have to face talking to him with everyone else in the room. Deciding to wait until Jackson had found him Mark headed off to get changed and ready for the day.

A littler later on and he was standing in a patient's room, talking her through her surgery for the day and checking how she was. The patient, Laura Summers, was 28 and had been caught in a house fire and just managed to escape. Her burns were some of the most severe Mark had ever seen and he had been treating her for the past 8 months. He and Jackson had worked together on this and they had been using skin banks and so far it had been pretty successful. Slowly but surely they were getting her back. Today Mark was planning on checking her right arm and seeing how it had progressed. Jackson hadn't turned up which worried and annoyed him but mostly worried him. He could do this procedure by himself if he really wanted to that wasn't really the issue; it was the fact that Jackson hadn't said a thing and hadn't turned up at all that was bothering him.

Then there were the stupid interns that were hovering around behind him. Hunt had caught him when he'd come out of the changing room and handed three of them off on him. He'd been keeping an eye out for Jackson and the three interns were distracting him with questions. Mark's mood had darkened as he realised he was expected to cart them around all day and 'teach' them things. Their nervous questioning, shambling walking and utter stupidity was pissing him off even more but he tried to stay calm. Thankfully he'd seen Laura and that had cheered him up a little. She was a great patient, did everything he asked and took her medication whenever she needed it. She was funny and always talkative about what she had been up to since they had last seen each other and Mark enjoyed her company.

"Right, everything's looking good so far. I'm going to book an OR and we should get you in there early afternoon."

"Sounds good. Hey, where's Doctor Avery?"

"Doctor Avery is…er…just running some tests for, uhm, another patient."

"No he's not." A voice behind Mark squeaked.

All eyes turned on the middle intern, was his name Simmons or Sampson? Mark frowned and tried to remember but decided he didn't care. He shot a glare at the intern, who paled before he turned back to Laura.

"He's busy at the moment."

"Oh…right." Laura said, nodding. She bit her lip and glanced at Mark. "Did you guys have a fight?"

"What? No, we…No. Why?"

"Well, you seem different this morning. Doctor Avery isn't here and he's always been here. Also, you look like you haven't slept all night. You keep that up and you'll need plastics soon!"

Mark chuckled but it soon stopped short when he heard laughter behind him. The interns, always the interns! Another glare shut them up and he once again turned to Laura.

"No. Me and Doctor Avery have not had a fight."

"Are you sure? 'Cos when me and my boyfriend fight, sometimes it gets so bad we can barely stand to be around each other."

"I…we…uh." Mark stammered.

"Wait, he _is_ your boyfriend right?" Laura asked, shock on her face and her eyes wide.

Mark stood frozen. Hearing a gasp behind him, he turned and saw the interns staring at him. Their eyes wide, mouths hanging open and Mark couldn't help but flush slightly. "Out! Outside now!"

The interns turned on their heels and rushed out. Mark turned back and sighed.

"Oh gosh, I am sorry! I just…I just thought, well I don't know." She laughed nervously and shifted slightly in bed. Mark, feeling his face burning, busied himself with checking Laura's bandages. "You guys always seem so friendly and I've seen you work together. Then there's the way he looks at you…"

Mark jerked his head up and stared at her as she trailed off. "What do you mean?"

"He just," she giggled and shook her head. "It's when you're not looking which is probably why you don't catch it. Mostly when you're not looking anyway. But he stares at you, his eyes go soft and he looks at you and I see that he cares for you. I'm pretty sure he's done it when he's meant to have been looking at my wounds once or twice but I've let it slide. It's a nice look. My boyfriend, John, he used to look at me that way. You know, before the fire."

Mark couldn't speak; his hands were frozen on Laura's bandages. He could feel his tongue and throat trying to work but he couldn't find the words. Laura's boyfriend had left her a couple of months after the fire, claiming he found it all too hard on him. She reached out her hand and took hold of his. Thankfully both her hands had been spared in the fire so she had full use of them and her grip was tight as she squeezed his hand.

"Forgive me if I'm speaking out of turn here, but Doctor Sloan, if he isn't your boyfriend now then he should be."

He nodded and looked at her properly. They stared at each other for a moment and Mark tried to breathe, his chest feeling constricted. Finally his mind cleared and he let go of Laura's hand.

"Thank you. I've got to go and check on some other patients but I'll get back to you with the surgery time when I can okay?"

"Fine with me. I'll just catch up with my stories. See you soon Doctor."

Mark smiled at Laura and walked out the room, almost crashing into the goddamn interns. They were huddled together and trying to look innocent. Mark frowned at all three of them and gathered himself up to his full height, wanting to look as intimidating as possible.

"What did you three hear?"

"Nothing at all."

"Hear what?"

"I didn't hear anything, nothing about people looking at other people."

"Good. Keep it that way or I will make your lives a living Hell." Mark paused. "No, wait. You're interns. Your lives are already Hell. Alright, if I hear a word of anything about anything from anyone I will make sure that you three are the lowest of the interns here. Got it?"

A chorus of yes' filled his ears and he nodded before zeroing in on the intern who had spoken earlier. He dismissed the other two, telling them to book an OR for Laura and then get him some coffee. He glared at the one left standing.

"Now…Simmons!"

"It's, urhm, Tim. Tim Blackwood."

"Shut up. You know where Avery is. So, you're going to tell me." Mark demanded and waited for an answer. After a few moments the intern, keeping quiet, started shuffling from one foot to the other. "Answer me!'

'But, you, told me to shut up."

"Simmons, you're really, really starting to get on my nerves. If I don't find out where Avery is right this second so help me I will ma-"

"Third Floor!" The intern cried out. "Third Floor! I saw him with Doctor Bailey."

"Bailey?" Mark asked, biting his lip and frowning even more. His racing thoughts were interrupted by more squeaking.

"It's not, er, Simmons."

"Get out of here!" Mark cried out causing the intern to jump and scurry off. After debating for a whole three seconds on whether he should go looking for Jackson he decided that yes, yes he should. He headed to the lifts and finally found himself on the correct floor, searching each room for Jackson. As he turned a corner he spotted him and halted. He was talking to Bailey both of them reading through a patient's chart. Mark paused for a moment, another three second debate running through his head before he marched forward.

"Avery!" He called out, his voice steady and loud whilst his stomach tossed and turned. The two doctors turned to him and Mark's heart dropped a little when he saw the nervous fear in Jackson's eyes. He pushed it aside and cried out in a cheery all-is-well voice. "I wondered where my Resident had gotten to! Doctor Bailey, mind if we have a moment?"

"Sure. Avery, see you in there." Bailey nodded before heading in to a patient's room. Mark stopped in front of Jackson who looked anywhere but at Mark.

"Look, I've got a patient and I need to go in there an-"

"This'll only take a minute. Look, I just need to, "Mark broke off as group of nurses wandered past. He lowered his voice to a whisper and stepped a little close to Jackson. "We just need to talk, that's all. Why didn't you show up today?"

"I'm on Bailey's service."

"Yeah I can see that. But why?"

"I...I thought I'd give general surgery a try for a change."

"Huh," Mark responded, not believing a word he said. "Look, if it's about last night, well, you don't need to be here because of last night."

"No, just...I…"

"'Cos I thought it was great and we really need to talk about it."

"Not right now." Jackson told him, trying to step around Mark who jumped into his way.

"Come on! Hey, Avery, I'm just askin-"

"No! I said I'm on Bailey's service today and I'm going to be here for quite a few weeks." Jackson snapped before pushing past him into the patient's room.

Mark almost followed him, wanting to be stubborn and make him listen but he stopped himself. He didn't want to create a scene and already he could feel the nurses and other doctors looking over. He could also see Bailey frowning at him and glancing between him and Jackson who was now running through the patient's condition. Then there was the patient's family themselves, listening raptly to him and he knew he couldn't interrupt. Mark sighed, shook his head and headed off to the bathroom wanting to clear his head and get away from the people staring at him. As he pushed through the door he looked around and was relieved to find it empty. He headed straight to the sink and turned the tap on, watching the water flow down the drain for a couple of seconds before cupping his hands under the water and splashing his face. Letting the cool water dry, he stared at himself in the mirror.

"Shit."

As he was splashing his face again he heard the door swing open and knew his few moments of solitude had ended.

"There you are!" Derek's voice cried out from across the room.

"Hi."

"So…you okay?"

Mark turned to Derek, frowning. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, I heard what happened with Avery. Did you and your boyfriend have a fight or something?" Derek asked, smirking and missing Mark's wince.

"He's not my boyfriend!" He snapped. "And how did you hear about it? News can't travel that fast in here. Can it?"

Derek laughed and leant against the sink and crossing his arms over his chest as he explained. "No, no. I mean, it probably does but I was the nurse's station and I overheard what happened. You know, you _are_ an Attending and Avery is a Resident. Technically he's not allowed to speak to you that way."

"Oh yeah? Do you pull rank on Meredith whenever she shouts at you?"

"Well, that's different. Meredith is my wife. Avery is just…Avery."

"We kissed!" Mark cried out before he could stop himself. He didn't even know why he'd done it but if there was one person he could discuss this with it'd be Derek. They were both able to talk to one another about everything and whenever anything was bothering one of them they'd end up grabbing a couple of beers and spending a few hours figuring stuff out. Mark sighed and let his head fall down, eyes fixed on the drain again whilst the silence spun out.

"Okay…and you haven't before?" Derek finally asked. Mark looked up sharply and stared at him.

"What? Why would I have kissed him before?"

"Well…er…I….Huh." Derek stammered before giving a small laugh and shaking his head. "Well, to be honest, I thought there was something going on with you guys already. I mean, you spend a lot of time together. Then there's the way, you know, you spent Valentine's Day to-"

"He was studying!"

"-gether and okay! If that's what you say you were doing I believe you. But there is the way you look at each other every so often."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Mark lied, biting his lip. He _had_ noticed that himself. Once or twice…or maybe more than that he'd found himself just watching Avery whilst he worked and more often than not Avery had looked up and caught his eye. They'd held the gaze for a few seconds before one of them would break away and busy themselves with something else. Then there was what Laura has said earlier today.

"Again, if you say so. Look, tell me what happened."

"Avery came over and I helped him study for awhile, it got late so he stayed over on the couch. I got up in the middle of the night to pee, headed for the bathroom and crashed into him. We kissed…and then…"

"Then?"

"Then he ran out the door like it was the worst thing that could have happened."

"Oh." Derek sighed.

"Yeah. I mean, he kissed back at first but then he just pulled away and ran out the door. What does that mean? Has Meredith, _did_ Meredith ever do anything like that at the start?"

"Meredith is different and we've had our moments but nothing like that I don't think."

"What do I do?" Mark asked, looking at Derek, desperately needing help and advice. Derek was silent for a moment and Mark could see him thinking.

"Well, all you can do is talk to him about it. It's either that or forget it ever happened and I'm getting the feeling you don't want to do that. So, talk to him."

"I've _tried_ talking to him. It didn't work out well."

"Ambushing him in the hospital corridor, right before he's about to go and speak to a patient, in front of the gossipy staff is not the best way to go about talking to him about this. Besides, do you even know what you want?"

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is, do you know what you want?"

"I…"

"Do you want a relationship with him?"

"Well…I…you can't just ask…he..."

"Mark, do you want a relationship with him?"

"Yes." Mark whispered. He and Derek stared at each other for a moment before Derek smiled and nodded.

"Then tell him. Tell him what you want, speak to him. You can do it."

Silence filled the bathroom and for a few moments they didn't speak. Mark leaned down and splashed his face again. He looked back at Derek and smiled.

"I can do this."

"You can do this." Derek told him, laughing a little. "Although when you became so bad at getting the people you wanted, I don't know."

They both laughed and Mark felt so relief, having talked about it and gotten it off his chest had been a good thing and he felt lighter. Plus it was nice to talk to Derek again, both of them having been too busy to do no more than a quick hello as they passed in the corridor.

"I don't know. I think maybe, it's Sofia. I see her, how young and fragile she is and I think of myself that way." Mark chuckled and shook his head, "minus the young part of course. I've found myself taking fewer risks and just settling and this thing with Jackson. It's new and different. I mean, I've been with guys before, you know that but it was never a relationship and…Derek…I don't think I've felt this way about somebody before."

"Then tell him. There's something there between you two. I know it; half the hospital knows it and the other half suspects it. The only people who don't know Mark and Jackson like each other are Mark and Jackson!"

At that moment the bathroom door swung open and Karev walked in. He nodded at the two of them and headed over to the urinal. Realising that the bathroom was no longer private Derek patted Mark on the shoulder.

"I've got to go, big surgery this evening so I'm practicing. This whole situation will work itself out, just take my advice." Derek gave him an encouraging smile before turning and heading toward the door. "Good luck!"

Mark sighed and splashed his face one last time. As he wiped the droplets of water from his face he noticed Karev standing next to him. He glanced at the doctor, giving a quick smile.

"What do you need advice for? Karev asked, smirking his ignorant smile.

"None of your business." Mark told him, heading over to the dryer and starting it up. He heard Karev mutter something but ignored it. His head was starting to ache, his thoughts of Jackson tumbling around. As he pushed through the door he vowed to try again with speaking to Jackson.

The day went slowly, his interns driving him up the wall just by breathing too loudly. Mark had paged Jackson three or four times, asking him to come find him when he was free. He managed to eat half his sandwich and read half an article during lunch, no reply. Laura's surgery went quick and easy, no reply. He helped out with a trauma patient, no reply. Finally losing his temper he gave a 5 minute rant to one of his interns when she had made a comment about something mundane. By the time he was done Mark was pretty sure the poor woman was in tears, she'd run off before he'd seen but there had been some sniffling. He couldn't stand interns, hated their fresh-from-medical-school-and-ready-to-save-the-world attitude but he'd never made one cry before and he was tempted to chase after her and tell her that he wasn't actually a bad person but that right now, right this second he'd kill someone if it meant Jackson would give him 5 minutes.

Ignoring the nervous and hazardous looks he got he walked off, wandering the hospital and trying to clear his head. Soon enough he found himself heading towards the Resident's changing room, determined to talk to Jackson or wait for him to get back. He reached the room and opened the door, scanning the room for the man he was looking for. Instead he found Kephner, scribbling away in her notebook. She looked up and smiled a sickeningly sweet smile when she saw him.

"Doctor Sloan! What can I do for you?"

"Urhm, is Jac-Avery here?"

"Oh he's gone."

"What? What do you mean?" Mark asked, wildly thinking Jackson had quit, moved out and left the city never to be seen or heard from again.

"Home. He's gone home for the day. He had no more patients and the one surgical guy is stable."

"Oh. Right, yeah. Home." He shook his head and mentally slapped himself for thinking such crazy thoughts. "Er, will he be back at all tonight?"

"I don't think so. Like I said, his surgical patient is stable. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Thanks." Mark answered before turning and plodding out the door. So he'd missed Jackson, which was great, just fucking _perfect_. He briefly considered going to Derek and Meredith's house and demanding to be let in and then banging on Jackson's door until he let him in and then they could talk. He broke that thought off, knowing he was being too dramatic. He'd just have to try again tomorrow; surely Jackson would give him ten minutes or so and let him say what he needed to say. Sighing he headed to the Attending's changing room, just wanting to get home and get this day over with.

* * *

><p><em>Okay<em>, Mark thought to himself, _you've been hanging around this corridor for a half hour hoping Jackson will come along and use the lift. Maybe it's time we left._ He nodded in agreement, scribbling his signature over a couple of patient's charts.

"But maybe just a couple more minutes." He muttered to himself, not noticing the looks he got from the nurses at their station. Mark wouldn't have cared anyway. It'd been three whole days since their kiss and Jackson had ignored him every single day, hour, minute and it was driving Mark crazy. He'd tried to speak to him but Jackson had either rushed off or flat out ignored him. More than once he'd been tempted to pull rank and force Jackson to listen to him but he knew that that wouldn't go down so well and maybe even make things worse between them. He sighed and wondered how much worse it could actually get. Mark knew that waiting outside a lift in the hopes that Jackson would wander by and use it was desperate but he also knew that he was working on this floor today. Interns made quite the handy spies and informants.

"Doctor Sloan, are you alright?" A quiet voice inquired from nowhere. He jumped and looked about before he saw a nurse standing before him on the other side of the desk.

'What?"

"I, er, asked if you were alright." She asked, blushing and looking down. He ignored this, having been here long enough to be used to the young nurses being attracted to him. His mind was racing but not with what to say, with her name. Was it Lisa? Or Jade? Wait, Jade was the pretty red head on third. So was this Tracy? "Are you sure you're okay?" she asked again.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Why?"

"Well, it's just…cos you've been here for over half an hour and you keep looking at the lifts and just then…well you sorta blanked out." She smiled shyly at him and he sighed inwardly.

"I'm okay. Thanks for the conce-" Mark's sentence came to an abrupt halt as Jackson passed by him and headed for the lifts. He watched as he pressed the button and nodded at somebody he knew as they passed.

"Doctor?" That quiet voice came again, breaking his concentration.

"Shush!"

He watched some more and finally the lift doors opened. Jackson stepped aside and let two doctors pass before he entered the lift himself. Mark's heart was in his throat and deciding to just go for it he dashed forwards, dodging past anyone who was in his way and almost sprinting for the lift.

Mark rushed forwards and slipped through the doors just before they closed, the back of his coat almost getting caught in between them. Jackson's eyes widened as Mark nearly fell into him. He stepped back and then after realising he was trapped he stared downwards at the pile of charts in his hands, busying himself by pretending to read through the pages. Mark glanced at the buttons and saw Jackson was going to the top floor, that'd give him 30 seconds maximum and so he started talking.

"Look, I know you can hear me so I'm just gunna talk and I'll stop when the lift stops. I hate this; I hate the two of us not working together. We're a team, a fucking fantastic team that works ridiculously well together and now you're working with _Bailey_? When we're in the OR I don't even need to look at you for you to know what I need from you. You know my techniques, my style and how I like things done. Doesn't that show you there's something more?"

Mark waited a few moments, just watching as Jackson stared at the papers in his hand.

"But you know what I hate the most. I hate the fact that you won't even look at me. You've stopped talking to me, you've stopped working with me and now you can't even look at me. I miss you…and I miss you looking at me." He sighed as Jackson continued to ignore him, running his hands through his hair and getting more frustrated by the second. Mark glanced at the lift buttons and saw they were almost to the top. Suddenly he couldn't stand it anymore; he reached forwards and pressed the emergency stop button, causing the lift to jam to a halt. Jackson looked up startled and as he did Mark stepped right up to the other man, right into his personal space, so close he could feel Jackson's breath on his face. He could smell him too, that familiar warm scent that was all Jackson. The aftershave he used, the faint smell of his sweat, he inhaled it all in and felt his chest swell.

"We kissed! We kissed and that was all. You're acting as if we slept together and I never called the next morning. We kissed and I damn well enjoyed it and I know you did too!" Mark cried out. He fell silent, letting that last sentence reverberate and then out of nowhere Jackson's lips were on his. He didn't even see the other man move, just felt those soft lips pressing to his, a sweet and tender kiss that sent a rush of warmth through his whole being. He could feel Jackson clinging to him with desperate need, his hands bunched in Mark's shirt, charts long forgotten on the floor. Then those lips were pulled away, not far, but just enough so they weren't touching Mark's and he felt a loss at that.

"I'm an Avery." Jackson whispered to him, his lips just barely brushing Mark's.

"What?" He whispered back.

"I'm an Avery."

"I don't underst-"

"I'm an Avery." Jackson repeated, louder this time and stepping back. His gaze was direct and staring straight at Mark. "My grandfather is _the_ Harper Avery and my mother is _the _Katherine Avery. I have to be…I have to be the best and I'm trying. I really am. You want to know why I'm fucking up so much with my studying? You. It's always been you. You're around me and I can't concentrate. In the OR it's fine because there's a person there, somebody who is relying on us to be professional, to be unique, to be damn good surgeons and make sure we do everything we can to save them. But when I'm alone with you, I can't concentrate. You look at me and I melt. You speak to me and I listen to every single word. You…you drive me crazy by being nothing but yourself and right now, I can't take that. These boards, they'll make or break me and they're the most important thing so I can't take it."

They both stood there, breathless and quiet. Jackson bent down and started gathering up the charts from the floor. Mark couldn't speak, he'd thought…well fuck he didn't know what he'd thought. He had hoped there had been something between them and that kiss. That beautiful kiss had only strengthened that idea and now here was Jackson telling him that he drove him crazy. He opened his mouth but couldn't think of anything to say, he could only watch as Jackson brushed past him and pressed the alarm button again causing the lift to continue it's ascent. He turned and stared at Jackson's back, wanting to speak, shout or scream. Anything to get the other man to listen and hear that he felt the same. The lift reached the floor and the doors opened. He watched as Jackson paused for a moment and he felt his throat working.

"Jackson…I feel th-"

"No. Please." Jackson whispered back, his voice low and almost broken. "I can't."

With that he walked out the lift, leaving Mark to just stand there dumbly. He considered running after him but that final whisper stopped him. Jackson didn't want him, not right now and maybe not ever. As the doors shut he leaned against the back wall and ran a hand over his face. He felt the lift start to descend, taking him to some unknown floor, his thoughts tossing and turning along with his stomach. Not knowing what to do, not knowing what to feel just knowing that he'd never felt so unwanted in all his life.


	3. Fragile Pieces

**AN: I'd just like to say that with this chapter, again, I'm not sure how right the medical parts are so forgive me if you notice any mistakes with that part. Hope you guys like this chapter and the fourth and final one will be up soon! **

**Fragile Pieces**

Mark gulped down the rest of the beer in his bottle, finishing the last quarter in one big swallow. He slammed the bottle down and shouted to Joe for another. Derek, who was sitting beside him, raised his own empty glass to Joe signaling that he'd also take another. Mark was on his fifth bottle and was starting to feel the effects of the alcohol, his head spun a little and he was talking a little too loudly. Knowing that he didn't want to get drunk, didn't want to be the drunken mess crying over his crappy situation, he promised himself this bottle would be his last. Joe brought their drinks over, Derek paying this time, before he headed off to some other customers. They'd met up after work; both actually having some free time away from patients and Mark had needed a drink. So they'd come here. He'd told Derek everything that had happened, Jackson kissing him and then rejecting him and everything he'd said after that.

"So, what's your plan?"

"My plan?"

"To make Avery listen to you."

Mark laughed before drinking a little; he let the cold liquid slide refreshingly down his throat before laughing some more at the idea of making Jackson listen to him.

"What's so funny?" Derek asked him, sipping his scotch.

"There is no plan Derek! I trapped him in the elevator and he basically told me he didn't want me, said that I confuse him too much."

"Oh that's ridiculous and a stupid reason to not be with someone. You be with someone because they confuse you. You like him and he certainly likes you. I mean, he kissed _you_ in the elevator. It wasn't the other way round, he made the first move."

"He probably did that just to shut me up."

"I want to shut you up more often than not and you don't see me kissing you!" Derek told him, chuckling. "Look, there's something between you too. He said that you effect him, you do things to him and those are good signs."

"But he sai-"

"There is no reason that he can't study and be with you at the same time."

They stared at each other for a moment before Mark gave a sigh and took another gulp of his beer.

"What about Julia?" Derek asked him, still watching Mark who shook his head.

"I need to break up with her. It isn't fair. Even if nothing happens with Jackson I'm not in that relationship. I'm not there. I just…need to find the time and the right way to do it."

"Well you should do it soon because you're right. It's not fair, it's not fair to either of you." Derek advised him before finishing off his drink. Seeing that Mark had also finished his drink he asked "You want another?"

"No, thanks. I've got Sofia tomorrow and I spent 6 hours in the OR today. I don't want to be too tired for her. She's so feisty and I swear she can play for like 10 hours so I'm going to head home."

"Alright. I think I'm gunna do the same, see Meredith and maybe give Zola a cuddle if she's awake."

The two men set down their glasses, waving to Joe as they left, and headed outside. They gave each other a quick hug goodbye before jumping into separate cabs out of the rain that had started up. Soon enough Mark was home, the cab pulling up to the door of his apartment building. He paid the cab driver and climbed out of the taxi, running for the door and avoiding getting as wet as possible. The elevator ride was quick and as Mark turned the corner at the end of the corridor he crashed into a woman. She gave a quiet scream and his own heart jumped, the both of them staggering away from each other. With a hand on his heart Mark eventually got his breath back before looking up and realising the woman was Julia.

"Mark? You scared the shit out of me!" She cried out.

"I'm sorry. I was in my own little world and didn't even hear you." He explained. "What are you doing here?"

"I, er, hey, if it isn't too late do you mind if I come in?"

"Ah, I've got an early morning tomorrow and I was sort of hoping to get in and go straight to bed." Mark replied, he felt bad for lying to Julia and truth be told that had been the plan but she was his girlfriend and he knew he shouldn't just turn her away.

"It'll only take a moment. I just…need to talk to you and don't really want to do it out here."

"Oh. Yeah. Okay, you can come in. Just let me find my keys." After spending a couple of seconds searching his pockets he found them and opened the door. Turning on the lights and leading Julia in, he turned around and noticed the bag in her hand for the first time.

"What's in the bag?"

"This…this is full of your clothes."

"What?"

"Your clothes and a couple of other random stuff. You've left them at mine over the last few months and I just thought I'd bring them back."

"Why?"

She sighed and glanced away, gathering herself before turning back to him. "I had a boyfriend once, about 8 years ago and I loved him very, very much. His name was Ryan, two years younger than me with the nicest green eyes you've ever seen. We were together for 3 and a half years and honestly, I've never loved someone the way I loved him."

"Julia, wha-"

"About 3 years into the relationship things changed, little things you know. He'd be working late or he'd be seeing friends I hadn't heard of. He stopped touching me too, not in a sexual way, just little touches that I noticed and ignored. We'd be sitting there together watching a film and I'd be screaming in my head for him to just hold my hand, begging for him to just reach out and take hold of it and stroke the back of it like he used to. I just wanted him to show me something, connect with me and every day it got worse until we barely spoke. Finally, he told me that he didn't love me anymore and that there was someone else and before I knew it I was alone and he was living with some blonde." Julia finished; her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. She stood strong but she looked so vulnerable at that moment and guilt washed over Mark.

"I don't understand. Why are you telling me this?"

"I know when someone is slipping away. After Ryan, I developed this…sense. This knowing feeling that someone was slipping away from me and it is both a gift and a curse. I get to end things before it hurts too much, yet at the same time I know when things are over before the other person does. You're slipping away Mark; in fact you've slipped almost all the way. I tried to ignore it because, well we had so much fun and you're a great guy."

He couldn't speak, mouth bone dry and heart thumping in his chest. She didn't seem mad, angry or anything and it frightened him.

"I also know why you're slipping away and oddly, this time, I'm okay with it because I know what you feel is true."

"What I feel?"

"Jackson. You two, I've seen the two of you together and it's so obvious but not in an over the top way. In a lovely way that everyone dreams about. The looks you share, your mannerisms, there's just so many things. You love him."

"No, I don't.'

"You do. You love him."

"Look, you've got it wro-"

"Mark, you love him."

"I…I…" Mark stammered, not knowing where to begin. He hated this and it wasn't fair to either of them. He could feel his eyes burning, the whole room and Julia herself blurring as tears formed in his eyes. "I'm sorry that I love him."

"Hey, it's okay." Julia whispered, stepping closer to him and placing a hand on his cheek, running a thumb over the stubble. She was smiling sadly. "You love him and it's not right, for either of us, we both know that. It hasn't been right for a while. But what we did have, it was fun. You made me laugh, made me feel special for a little bit and that was nice. Now it's time to move on and you need to go for it. Don't be scared."

"I never meant to hurt you."

"You haven't hurt me. We had fun, Sofia is a beautiful child and you're an amazing guy but we've drifted apart. It happens."

Mark shook his head and placed his hand over Julia's, his own thumb stroking her skin. She leaned forwards and placed a soft kiss to his lips, a gentle goodbye kiss. Neither of them said anything as she dropped the bag she'd brought along, turned and headed out the door. Mark made to follow her but decided against it, stopping when she turned back and smiled once more at him.

"You love him."

"I love him." He responded. She nodded, opened the door and walked out of his life. Mark stood there for a few moments, breathing heavily and trying to keep his head clear. He was unsure of how to feel, break ups were never easy and there was no such thing as a 'good' break up but at the same time he felt like he had already moved on from it and that there had been nothing left to do but physically break up with Julia. Then she had come along and told him that she basically knew everything and she herself was moving on and leaving him. Then there was the fact that he'd admitted, finally admitted to himself that he loved Jackson. Saying it out loud had made it all seem real and it scared him to know that he was in love with a fellow surgeon. His emotions chasing each other around, thoughts bouncing around his head Mark groaned and headed towards his bedroom, wanting to just fall asleep and not think about anything for several hours.

* * *

><p>Mark changed into his navy scrubs, just going through the motions like the last few days. It'd been a week since he and Jackson had kissed, four days since Julia had broken up with him and those days had passed like a daze. He'd barely seen Jackson, catching glimpses of him in the cafeteria and the OR whenever he observed a surgery where Jackson was assisting. Then there were the interns, the ones he was still carting around. Their names never stuck in his mind so he'd taken on Yang's solution and called them 1, 2 and 3.<p>

The day went slowly, the interns showing that they actually had some medical knowledge and being able to take care of his other patients whilst he focused on Laura Summers. She was back for a follow up and so far she was looking good. They were running some tests today, keeping her over night and Mark was thinking he'd try some physiotherapy to keep her muscles strong. Deciding to go visit Derek and see how he was doing Mark got into the elevator and pressed the button for the floor he was on. Thankfully the elevator was empty and he was able to grab a few seconds of silence, leaning against the back wall and resting his hands on the handrail. Before he reached the floor however the elevator stopped, he glanced up as the doors opened and there he was. Jackson. He stepped forward but halted when he saw Mark, his eyes going wide.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Going up?" Mark questioned, glancing at the buttons before back to Jackson. His heart dropped as he stepped back and shook his head.

"I'll catch the next one." He answered, breaking eye contact with Mark and looking anywhere but at him. The doors started to close and Mark didn't want to leave it that way, awkward and strange between them.

"Jackson…" He cried out but the doors closed tightly shut before he could think of anything to say. He sighed and leaned back, running a hand over his face. Finally the elevator reached the floor and he stepped out but decided against going to see Derek. As he walked down the corridor he saw an empty patient room and took refuge inside. Mark sat down on the bed and sighed once more. The day itself was cloudy and overcast giving the room a dark and gloomy look that matched his mood. His pager beeped but he ignored it, unclipping it from his waistband and laying it on the bed next to him. It was more than likely one of the interns pestering him to wanting him to do a simple procedure.

Mark didn't want to be around anyone at the moment. His mind was spinning, thoughts going round and round his head. How had things gotten so fucked up? He'd had it pretty damn good. Sofia was just across the hall with Callie and Arizona, a great girlfriend who had made him laugh and Jackson. He'd been the best Resident in Plastics and he knew all of Mark's moves and ideas. They'd been an amazing team, The Plastics Posse as he'd taken to calling them jokingly, and both knew what the other was thinking.

He heard the faint beeping of his pager but ignored it once again.

Then everything had fallen apart. Jackson didn't even want to be around him anymore, couldn't bear to even be alone with him for a ten second elevator ride. Julia had broken up with him and even though that had been a long time coming, he still felt like he'd lost a good friend. The only thing that cheered him up was spending time with his beautiful Sofia, he could spend hours just cuddling her and muttering things to her in Spanish. He'd finally gotten the hang of the language and was using it whenever he could. Deciding to go see her right now he jumped up from the bed and started for the door. That annoying beeping rang in his ears again and stopped him. He turned back to the pager, grabbed it from the bed and looked at the screen. His heart dropped, stomach tossing as he saw the message there.

_911. L . Summers. Coding._

His mind went blank for a second and then he was running, actually sprinting down the hall and then the stairs. There was no time to wait for the elevator; he needed to be there now. _No_, he thought to himself, _I needed to be there ten minutes ago. Shit, shit, shit. _He pushed past nurses and doctors, surgeons and other patients anyone who got in his way. Maybe she'd be all right by the time he got there, maybe the code team had revived her and she was okay. He hoped to God those interns hadn't been the ones who were looking after her. Finally he reached her room and heard shouting which caused his stomach to give another toss. Shouting was never good. He rushed in and it was chaos, absolute chaos. 1 and 3 were on either side of Laura's bed, 1 giving her compressions whilst 3 was holding the defibrillator paddles and shaking. 2 was just _standing_ there, she was also shaking and muttering to herself. He couldn't hear what she was saying over the code teams shouts, which became louder as he entered the room. One nurse stepped forwards and told him everything he needed to know.

"Her heart just stopped, flat lined. We pushed one of epi but it did nothing. Started shocking her at 200, nothing. Went to 300 and still got nothing. Blackwood started compressions ten minutes ago but there's been no response. Shall we call it?"

"NO!" Mark cried out, horrified at the sight of Laura, just lying there lifeless. He rushed forwards and pushed 1 out of the way, the intern wide eyed and looking terrified. "We keep going!"

Mark started the compressions, ignoring the code teams advice and their suggestions of him stopping. She couldn't die it wasn't fair. There's no way she could die. She was too good a person, too nice even after all the shit she had been through. As he pumped her chest he felt wet drops hitting his hands and he realised he was crying. Shock caused him to pull away for a moment but then he started again, turning his head to 2 who was the closest.

"2 wipe my face." She ignored him, her own eyes staring straight at Laura. " 2! Wipe my face! NOW!" She jumped, her eyes darting towards him and she gave a nod. Eventually she reached over, grabbed some tissues and moved around to him. She ran the tissue over his face and forehead before dabbing at his eyes. Then reached down and wiped at his hand. As she moved away he doubled his efforts with the compressions and kept this up for some time, not sure how much had actually passed. He soon grew too tired and had to stop, the bitter realisation that she wasn't going to come back hitting him. She wouldn't wake up and laugh, joke with him and flirt with any doctors who came her way. There was silence and it filled the room, the only noise being the harsh monotone of the flat line. It grated in his head and seemed to mock him, taunt him with Laura's death.

"Doctor?" A nurse spoke. "You need to call it."

He stared at her for a few moments before turning to the wall clock and saw that he had been trying to bring her back for 20 minutes. His mouth went dry, throat clicking as he tried to swallow; his eyes went around the room. All of them were shocked and saddened, he could see the hollow look in their eyes. He tried to speak but only grunted, trying to focus he looked back at the clock and took a deep breath.

"Ti-" He tried again, taking another deep breath he cleared his mind. "Time of death 19:27."

Silence once again came upon the room as one of the nurses reached over and flipped a switch, silencing the horrible flat line. The room seemed to shrink, the walls closing in as it hit him again. His chest closed over, his mouth still dry. He couldn't breathe, couldn't get the oxygen into his lungs with all these people in the room. He spun and rushed from the room, ignoring the shouts of his name, running blindly through the corridors and finding an empty corridor. He stopped and bent over, one hand on his knee the other on his chest. He could breathe again and did so heavily, finally gathering the strength to stand up. Jackson, he needed Jackson _right now _but he had no idea where he was and he couldn't handle searching the entire hospital for him. Mark glanced around and saw an on-call room and decided to take refuge in it, pushing through the door and seeing the empty beds. He stumbled over and sat down on the lower bunk before grabbing his pager. Knowing that Jackson would probably ignore his page if he sent him something mundane he decided to send a 911, safe in the knowledge that that would be the only way he'd get the other man to him.

After sending the message he waited, listening to the rain patter against the window. He dreaded giving this news, just talking about it and telling another person made it all too real and the fact that it was Jackson, this man that probably didn't even want to be in the same room as him, only made it harder. They'd worked on Laura together, slowly but surely healing her and trying their hardest to get her back together and now she was dead. Ten minutes later he heard footsteps approaching the door and took a deep breath. It swung open and Jackson walked through, his eyes scanning the room before he found Mark sitting on the bed. Mark sighed inwardly as he saw the disappointment in Jackson's eyes but he ignored it for the moment.

"Hey."

"Look, I'm really busy. You can't just page me a 911 if it isn't an emergency." Jackson snapped before turning away from him and starting to head out the door.

"Stop!" Mark cried out, standing up and moving forwards to the middle of the room. "Just stop. Stop running away from me. I can't take that right now. You can ignore me, ignore my pages all you want; reject me every single day but not now. Please. Not today."

Jackson turned back at the sound of Mark's voice, broken and low. Mark could see worry in those blue depths and even through all the pain and guilt he was feeling relief flickered and brightened. "What's happened?"

"She's dead."

"What? Who?"

"Oh God, she's dead Jackson." Mark told him, his eyes glistening with his tears but for the moment they remained unshed. "Laura Summers. Flatlined. She's dead."

"I..I.." Jackson stuttered before gasping as Mark fell to his knees, just dropped right down as if he'd been shot and he was there quicker than a flash. He felt his own eyes sting with his tears, his heart wrenching as Mark's own tears slipped down his cheeks.

Mark tried to breathe but couldn't quite get it, his chest hitching and his stomach tossing. He could feel his tears falling from his jaw onto his scrubs and wetting them but he ignored it for now. He felt light headed, the whole room spinning and the only thing keeping him tethered to the Earth right now was Jackson's strong grip on his shoulders and then those arms were enveloping him. His own hands lay limp in his lap for a moment before they came up and wrapped around that slender waist. He held on tightly, his tears tapering off and he was thankful they'd only lasted for a few moments. A patient's death had never effected him this way, sure he got upset and sometimes a little depressed when he lost someone but mostly he pushed it to the back of his mind and focused on his friends and family. But this was Laura. Laura and she was dead and there hadn't been a single thing he could have done to save her.

"It's okay, it's alright." Jackson whispered to him and Mark raised his head, having nestled it against his chest, and looked upon him. Their faces separated by a couple of inches. He could see the wet streaks on his skin from his own tears. Their eyes locked and once again Jackson told him it'd be okay and they stayed like that for a few minutes, staring at each other with Jackson muttering every so often and then they were kissing. It was fierce, hot and passionate and such a total contrast of the last couple of minutes that once again Mark's head spun but he went with it. The standing up, shuffling over towards the bed and stripping of scrub t-shirts were a blur to Mark and before he knew it he was lying down, the scratchy and cheap covers rough on his bare skin, whilst Jackson laid on top of him. Their lips and bodies grinded against the other, gasps and moans escaping from their lips. Hands slipped over muscle and caressed, groped, touched with an urgency neither had felt in a long time. Then the inevitable happened and Jackson pulled away. For a moment Mark couldn't believe it was happening for a third time and sat upwards trying to follow the other man and kiss him some more.

"Please." He whispered, closing his eyes and not wanting to believe that he was being rejected. Again.

"I…God, Mark. I'm so sorry."

"No…no, please." Mark pleaded, opening his eyes now and staring right at Jackson. His lip quivered but he refused to cry right this minute. He just wanted to reach out and hold Jackson down, never let him go, never let him run off but he restrained his own hands, fisting them into the sheets, clenching them so tightly it hurt.

"I never meant…we can't. I can't." Jackson told him, scrambling away and grabbing his t-shirt. He ran for the door and Mark decided to try one last time.

"You run out that door and I swear, nothing like this will ever happen again. You leave, you run away from me again and nothing will ever happen between us." His voice stern, body shaking but relief washed over him as Jackson turned back.

"Mark…I…I'm sorry." Jackson answered before turning back and rushing out the door.

Mark sat there nonplussed, his mind blank and he wasn't sure how long before he finally climbed off of the bed and put his own t-shirt back on. Rage washed over him then, everything that had been building up over the last week, Hell over the last couple of months all came crashing down on him and he cried out. He kicked at a pillow that had fallen to the floor before turning to the corner desk and sweeping everything to the floor. The loud crashes filled his ears and he rejoiced in the chaos, kicking at the office chair and knocking it over before turning and grabbing some cheap wall art that hung there. He held the ugly painting in either hand and brought it down, bringing his knee up at the same time and breaking it almost in half. Not satisfied he tore at it, trying to rip the wooden frame apart. When the wood held, only bringing his frustration to the maximum point he launched it at the wall, screaming. He turned and saw a tray of pencils and other stationary equipment sitting on a small bedside cabinet. That soon became airborne, crashing into the wall and scattering all around the room as he kicked at the cabinet, his toes throbbing but ignoring it all the same. Soon enough he slumped to the floor, leaning against the bed for support. He let his head fall down, chin resting on his chest whilst his hands fisted in his hair and he cried. He cried for Laura, for the break up with Julia, for Sofia and all the worries he had about her, for the fragility of everything around him. But most of all he cried because the man he loved had led him on before rejecting him not once, not twice but three times. With each kiss Mark had felt hope rising, hope for him and Jackson and for what they could be but tonight had shattered that hope. There was none when Jackson kept running away. There was no point and in that moment he decided that he wouldn't try anymore. He was giving up, he was giving up and he was okay with it.


	4. I Want This I Want You

**AN: So, this is where the graphic sex part lives! The Final Chapter! (Dun, dun, dun) So if you're not a fan of graphic MM sex then read a little bit and when it gets too much skip down to the end! Ahaha. Hope you guys have enjoyed this, I know I did.**

**I Want This. I Want You.**

The doorbell rang, urgent and fast. Mark's heart jumped and his stomach knotted. His first thought was Callie, Arizona and most importantly Sofia. Had something happened to her? He'd left her with Callie and Arizona over an hour ago, needing some peace and quiet to think. _You weren't thinking, _he thought_, you were brooding._ The doorbell rang again and his stomach knotted a little more.

"I'm coming! Callie? Is it Sofia!" He cried out, finally reaching the door and throwing it open. The person standing before him shocked him so much he looked around for someone else, thinking it was some sick joke. It was Jackson and unless Mark was mistaken he looked more than a little sheepish, he looked scared to death.

"What do you want?" He asked harshly.

"Can I come in?"

"No. Now what the Hell do you want?"

"Look, it'd be easier if I came in. I don't really want to stand out here and discuss our…personal issues. I know you're pissed off at me and you have every right to be. Just hear me out." Jackson asked looking at Mark and once again he couldn't resist those puppy dog eyes.

"Fine." Mark told him, stepping backwards and letting Jackson step into his flat. He looked like he wanted to come in further but Mark was trying his hardest not to break here. He was sick of the messing around, sick of the mixed signals and he could quite easily have shouted at Jackson to get out, to just get out and never speak to him again but something stopped him. He wasn't sure whether it was how awkward and shy Jackson looked or the fact that what Julia had said was right, he did love him. Mark watched as Jackson shut the door behind him before looking down and biting his lip.

"Look, just say what you have t-"

"I walked away before."

"What do you mean?"

"From Lexie. I walked away from Lexie and that was for my career. I needed time to focus, time to study…then you came along and started helping me and you were just…perfect. You took the time to teach me, spend time with me. I saw how you were with patients; especially Laura and I started feeling more, feeling something I haven't felt in awhile. I'm with you and…I'm safe. I'm happy and I'm safe and nothing is confusing. You kissed me and there was this connection, we just fitted together and it felt right but it scared me too. I always, _always _pick work over everything else. I've done it my whole life, nobody pushed me so I pushed myself and every time a choice came up medicine came first. But this time…"

"Yeah?"

"This time I'm picking something I actually want." Jackson said before moving forwards and wrapping his arms around Mark's waist. Their lips met and both men felt the connection between them. It coursed through their bodies and made the kiss passionate. Tongues and lips slid against each other as hands roamed over muscles. Wanting to just stand there and enjoy the kiss but knowing he couldn't, Mark pulled away. His hands were resting on Jackson's biceps.

"Are you sure about this because the last few times we've kissed you've ran away and I can't handle that. I can't handle you coming here, saying all this stuff and then running away again. It'll break me." Mark told him, his eyes focused on Jackson's and in them he saw no shred of doubt or fear, no anxiety. He saw want, need and lust.

"I know and I'm so sorry. I am sure. I mean, I'm still going to be a surgeon and I'll study as hard as I can for those damn boards. But…I want this at the same time. I don't want to wait and maybe let the chance go by. I want this. I want you."

"You can have me." Mark told him, before kissing him all over again. He forgot about the anger and the hurt that this man had caused him, realising that Jackson had just been confused and conflicted and that finally he knew what he wanted. He relished the kiss, enjoying it more than he thought possible because there was no fear. Jackson wasn't going to run away, wasn't going to pull back and that only made the kiss sweeter. Soon enough, however, kissing wasn't enough and Mark felt Jackson tugging at his t-shirt. He did the same, hands sliding underneath and caressing that flat stomach. His fingers ran over the ridges of Jackson's abs before he raised his arms and brought the t-shirt with them. As he stripped Jackson, his own t-shirt was pulled from him and then he was being pushed backwards. They fell onto the couch, Jackson landing with ease on top of Mark. Both men grinding against the other, rubbing their crotches together as they kissed.

Mark's lustful groans turned to ones of pain as he felt something sharp digging into his back. Jackson sat up quickly and nearly fell off the couch as Mark sat up. He reached behind himself and pulled one of Sofia's toys out from where he had been lying. He threw the toy to the floor and realised the living room was a minefield of toys and he was certain there were more buried in the couch. As he opened his mouth to speak Jackson took advantage and pushed his tongue inside, biting lightly on Mark's bottom lip.

"Not. Here. Bedroom. Now." Mark managed to say through the kissing and moans. Jackson giggled against his lips before pulling away and climbing off of him. As he did Mark noticed the bulge that was clearly showing in Jackson's jeans and he couldn't stop the swipe of his tongue across his lips as he imagined what lay beneath. He could feel his own lust throb and couldn't wait for more. Jackson grabbed his hand and pulled him up before navigating the room. As he led Mark up the corridor he looked back and grinned.

"Just past the bathroom door on the right yeah?'

Mark laughed and nodded his head before being lead right into his bedroom. As soon as he was across the threshold Jackson slammed the door and pushed him against it. Their chest's pressing together, rising and falling in unison as they kissed. Mark could feel a solid thumping and realised he was feeling Jackson's heart against his skin. He brought one hand around and rested it on the small of Jackson's back before bringing his other up and pushing it between his shoulder blades, forcing the other man even closer to him. They stayed like that for God knew how long. Time had no meaning for either of them, they kissed and kissed and kissed and didn't care about anything other than touching and tasting one another. As Jackson's mouth explored Mark's jaw, kissing along the strong line, he slipped his leg between Mark's who groaned at both sensations. Jackson's hot tongue licked a wet stripe up his neck whilst his strong thigh grinded against his bulging crotch. They rutted against each other, rubbing themselves against anything they could. Mark slipped one hand between them and groped Jackson, feeling the hardness and massaging it roughly. Moans and whimpers filled the room as both of them teased the other.

Mark cried out as Jackson nipped at his neck, biting him just a little too hard. His hands were all over Mark, oh God, they were all over and he was sweating. He felt Jackson run his tongue over his collarbone, swiping at a droplet of sweat that had been ready to course down his body. Soon enough he was licking further downwards, his tongue first sliding over Mark's chest before dropping to his stomach. He watched as Jackson sunk to his knees and kissed and licked his stomach whilst his hand worked at Mark through his jeans. His own hand was resting on the back of Jackson's head which had now moved down to his crotch.

"Fuck," Mark managed as Jackson mouthed him through the thick fabric, wetting it through. After awhile Jackson grabbed at Mark's belt, succeeding in undoing it and Mark's jeans in record time. As he pulled everything down Mark groaned at the cool air hitting his cock. Jackson meanwhile sat back on his haunches, admiring the sight before him and rubbing himself through his jeans. Mark noticed him licking his lips and felt a swell of pride in his chest. His cock stood tall and proud, fat and tanned like the rest of his skin. He was uncut, the foreskin covering most of the head. At least it was before Jackson reached up and took hold of him and slowly pulled it back. Both men gasped, Mark at the shiver that ran through him as Jackson touched this part of him and Jackson because of the weight and heat he could feel. It throbbed and he groaned aloud, noting the swollen red head that was now visible, a drop of pre-come glistening at the tip. Mark watched as Jackson moved his head forwards, his tongue slipping out and lapping at the tip. He groaned and had to stop himself from losing it there and then.

"Ja…Ja…I…" Mark could barely speak and his stammering turned to groans as Jackson took him into his mouth, a hot wet cave closing tightly around him. He felt himself throb as his tongue worked up and down his shaft. Jackson started off slow, taking it easy and enjoying it but before long he was swallowing Mark right down to the base, his nose buried in the coarse thatch of pubic hair that held a musky and hot aroma. He pulled back and went to work on Mark's balls, mouthing and tonguing them whilst one hand pumped his cock and the other explored his body. Soon enough that mouth, that expert mouth was back on him and his moaning continued. His brain zoned out and all he could think of was pleasure, pleasure and Jackson. The words "oh God so good" and Jackson's name ran back and forth through his head, taking over completely and he heard himself muttering them. The pressure built and built until he was ready to blow, calling out to Jackson. A shocked groan flew from his lips as Jackson pulled off of him however. He looked down and saw those blue orbs staring back at him, wide and mischievous.

"No, no. I want you begging."

"I…what?"

"I want to hear you beg me Mark." Jackson told him as he very slowly started stroking that stiff member.

"Ja…come on, let me…"

"Beg me Mark."

He groaned as Jackson's tongue slipped out and over his head, the sensitive glands tingling. "Please. Please Jackson."

Jackson took him back into his mouth but he was still going slowly. His hand loosely gripped around the shaft, his mouth sliding up and down slowly. It felt good, but Mark wanted more and he especially wanted an orgasm. He wanted Jackson to suck him, take him into his mouth and suck until Mark shot everything he could and Jackson swallowed it all and dammit he wasn't too proud to beg.

"Please, make me come."

"Mmmm, let me hear you baby."

"Oh God, please."

"Wanna hear you."

"Please."

How long this lasted, Mark wasn't sure. Jackson would speed up his pace, quickly bringing Mark to the brink of his orgasm before he'd either pull back or stop completely. A couple of times Mark had tried to thrust himself forwards, push himself in and out of Jackson's mouth and get himself off but every time strong hands had pinned his hips to the door. He was almost dying, his legs shaking and his heart pounding. His mouth was dry as he asked, begged, pleaded to be allowed to come and each time he was denied. He glanced down and saw Jackson staring back at him; slowly he pulled off of Mark and licked his lips.

"One last time. Come on. Let me hear you one last time."

"Jackson, please…Oh God, please…let me…come."

"As you wish handsome." Jackson responded, smirking slightly and taking Mark back into his mouth. He started a quick pace, his hand tight and gripped firmly. He used all the skills he knew and it didn't take long. His tongue gave one final swipe over the throbbing head and Mark came. He cried out, almost sobbing with relief and pleasure as he filled the other man's mouth, hot spurts coating his tongue. It was quickly swallowed and a shiver of lust ran up Mark's spine as he stared down and saw Jackson swallowing greedily. There was so much some slipped out of his mouth. Mark groaned, pulled out of Jackson's mouth and leant down, swiping his tongue over the escaped drop before slipping it into Jackson's mouth and ending with a long kiss, both of them tasting Mark and loving it. He pulled back, only a few inches and looked upon the other man. His hand came up and stroked against his cheek, fingers brushing over the soft skin. They stayed like that for a few moments before Jackson leaned forward and placed a quick kiss to Mark's lips.

"Now, on the bed." He ordered as he stood up, taking Mark's hand in his and leading him towards the bed. The passion started up again as they fell onto the mattress, Jackson on top of Mark, pushing against him. His jeans were quickly pulled from his body and Mark groaned as Jackson's hard cock grinded against him. Hands slipped over muscle, lips moved against each other and bodies tangled together. Mark managed to slip his hand between them and grip Jackson, his hand tight and pumping slowly. He could feel the heat and lust throbbing in his hands and moaned into the other man's mouth.

"Want you Jackson. Want…so badly."

"You want me inside you? Huh?"

"God…yes."

"That what you want?"

"Please."

"On all fours baby." Jackson whispered to him before kneeling back and stroking himself slowly. Both men moaned slightly as they saw each other fully naked for the first time. Mark stared up at the hard planes of Jackson's body, the caramel skin smooth and unblemished. His eyes were dark, shadowed by lust. He took in the sight of Jackson's hand lazily stroking back and forth, took in his size and felt himself twitch. Jackson was pretty big, bigger than he'd had before and he wanted nothing more than to spread his legs and let him in. He turned over onto his belly, then got up onto his hands and knee's and dipped his back. Pushing his ass out and smirking as he heard Jackson give a little gasp. Hands slipped over him and stroked his cheeks before sliding up his back. They went right up to his shoulder blades before coming back down.

"So beautiful." Jackson whispered as his hands ran over Mark's body. They caressed his cheeks some more before spreading them. Mark waited, biting his lip and wondering what Jackson was planning to do. A hot tongue slipped over his entrance and he groaned, Jackson swiping his tongue over and around him. The teasing began and soon enough Mark was moaning and pushing back. He cried out as that hot tongue pushed into him and sent waves of pleasure through him, groaning as that expert tongue was put to use once again. Mark gave a whimper as that tongue left him and fingers were introduced. One digit worked into him and he moaned some more. Light kisses were placed along his back and cheeks whilst he was worked open.

"You tasted so good, so good."

"Yeah?"

"Mmm yeah. Could taste you for hours."

Mark's voice was cut off, unable to reply to that hot suggestion when a second finger was inserted into him. More kisses distracted him from the burn, soft lips brushing against his skin and soon enough a third finger was inserted. He shuddered as those digits brushed his prostate, pressing firmly against it and causing his whole body to tense. Jackson chuckled as Mark tightened around his fingers, groaning quietly. Soon enough a hard and fast rhythm was pounded into his prostate, those fingers having him writhing and groaning into the sheets. He cried out as they left him, feeling hollow and empty. Jackson leaned back and spat into his hand, slicking his own cock up before adding some more spit to Mark's hole.

"You ready?"

"Jackson…please…yes."

Another chuckle reached his ears and he felt a soft kiss placed at the small of his back. He smiled to himself that smile turning into a clench of his jaw as Jackson started to push into him. He could feel himself stretching open, slowly accepting the invasion. Both of them moaned low and hot. He pushed back, wanting more of the other man inside him. Jackson's hips thrust forward, pushing right into him until he bottomed out. Gasping for breath Jackson held himself there for a few moments, that tight heat holding him. Mark felt himself clenching around the hard cock, his own hands fisting the sheets.

Slowly Jackson pulled back, pulled right out before pushing himself back in. He kept this up for a few moments letting Mark get used to the size of him. Whenever he pushed forwards Mark pushed back, he looked back over his shoulder and managed to catch other man's eye. He nodded slightly and Jackson, acknowledging the signal, grinned and started thrusting into him hard and fast. More moans filled the room, the hot slap of flesh ringing out as they began. He hadn't been with a man for a long time and sure he'd had great sex in his life. But this was something else; Jackson moved inside him and hit him in just the right spot every time. He body shuddered with each thrust, Jackson gripping him tightly and fucking into him. He felt his chest swell as those hands slipped up his back and then raked down his spine, nails sharp and scratching at him. Then they were back to his hips. Once again he lost track of time, lost in the movements of their bodies and the sensations running through him. His ass was a hot knot of pleasure, ignoring the slight undertone of pain. Jackson slammed into him, taking full control as he switched rhythms, sometimes going at a hard and fast pace before slipping into rough and slow thrusts.

"You like that baby?"

Urgh, fuck, fuck yeah!"

"Thought so. You like me in you don't you? Deep inside, hitting that sweet spot."

"Oh…yes. Please…Jackson."

"I'm gunna make you come so hard."

"Again?" Mark questioned doubtful of being able to orgasm again, but the way Jackson was talking to him, his voice low and rough, well he'd do anything for that voice and then there was the way Little…no Big Sloan was rising to the occasion.

"Yeah again. I'm gunna make you come with just my cock. Just me inside of you, pounding into this ass, holding you down and making you take it until you come so hard for me."

"Jesus." Mark whimpered, feeling the pace speed up and Jackson grip him tighter, his hands holding firmly to Mark's hips. Their breaths were heavy and fast, the heat in the room feeling like it was past melting point. Sweat dripped from his own body, wetting the mattress whilst he could feel drops hitting his back and running down his spine from Jackson's. Short groans and hot moans filled the room, the noises issued from both men. The sex was fantastic, passionate and probably the best Mark had ever had. Jackson knew what he was doing, teasing Mark with a few shallow thrusts before pounding into him. Their bodies locked together and became one. Jackson's skin melted to his as he laid his chest upon Mark's back, hot breath panting right into his ear. Dirty words, suggestions and filthy names were uttered in that rough voice and Mark shuddered as his own body quaked. He was close, so fucking _close_ but he held out, wanting to finish with Jackson. A hand slipped up his side, sliding easily along the wet skin, onto his shoulder blade. He felt the strong grip again before Jackson's hand slid under his arm and over his chest. That hand all over him, skating over his belly and so close to his fully hardened cock he whined. A dirty laugh sounded in his ear as Jackson teased him some more, his fingers dancing over Mark's thigh, coming so close to touching him that Mark whined again. He couldn't stop it! He sounded like a needy dog, whining for attention and as Jackson's hand brushed the head of his leaking cock another whine only made him seem more needy. Suddenly Jackson pushed hard into him and started up a hard and fast pace that had Mark's whole body jerking. He could also hear a rhythmic banging noise and realised that his bed, his actual pretty-damn-heavy bed was slamming into the wall. Urgent encouragements were whispered into his ear as Jackson told him what he wanted and what he wanted was Mark, Mark all hot and desperate and coming so hard. Pleasure and pain mixed, waves of pleasure crashed into rocks of pain and the feeling ripped through his whole body. A strangled groan escaped his lips as he felt himself let go, not being able to hold on anymore. His orgasm was powerful and a huge tide that dragged him under. Noises somehow reached his ears, loud groans and then he felt hot liquid filling him up and he knew Jackson had followed him into that tide.

They drowned together, holding on tightly to one another, bodies still pressed up against the other. Coherent thought had flown out the window, along with Mark's strength. He collapsed on to the mattress, Jackson's own strength must have fled too for he followed Mark. Chest never leaving his shoulder blades, stomach never leaving his lower back he fell on top of him. Slowly, ever so slowly they came back to the present. Breathing was still difficult and Mark's thighs quivered as he came down from his high. He turned his head and peeped at Jackson from the corner of his eye, a smirk forming on his face. However, neither could manage words at that moment, so Mark was grateful when Jackson smiled back and leaned down to plant a soft kiss to his lips. A feeling of lose came over him as Jackson pulled away and climbed off of him. He turned his head again and watched as the other man grabbed a discarded towel and cleaned himself up. He braced himself for the moment Jackson would turn to him and tell him he was going to leave now, they always did in the end, and if he did say that Mark would nod and it'd be fine. Totally fine. His jaw clenched, stomach knotted and his heart skipped when Jackson turned and he knew it wouldn't be fine. Nothing would ever be fine again if Jackson walked out now, he'd die and lose hope in everything. A dead calm came over him, his mind blank, body tense and then Jackson smiled at him and everything was…fine.

His whole body relaxed, a huge wave of relief coursing through him as those blue eyes lit up and caught his own gaze. Mark smiled back as the knowledge that Jackson wasn't leaving, he wasn't going to walk out the door and pretend this never happened hit him. He watched as Jackson walked back towards him and grabbed the bedcovers and pulled them back, climbing into bed and waiting patiently for Mark to join him. His smile was soft, sweet and the more Mark saw that smile he knew that things between them were going to be different, everything had changed but it was good because he was pretty damn sure Jackson liked him. A lot. Liked him in a way that just might turn to love. He shook his head, knowing he was getting ahead of himself, way too ahead. Next he'd be thinking about them living together, spending every moment they could with each other, taking Sofia on days out, going on dates or just staying in and watching a film together. Another shake of the head and Mark pushed that entire crazy, future-thinking aside. He crawled under the covers and pressed himself to Jackson's side, his arm draped lazily over his stomach. A kiss was pressed to his forehead and he almost found himself giggling. Actually _giggling_. This was getting too much and though he'd have liked to stay awake acting like a blushing schoolgirl a nice post sex sleepiness was taking him. Jackson's half lidded eyes told him he was feeling the same. Before sleep took him, however, he wanted to tell, or ask, well he wasn't sure what it was but there was something he needed to say.

"You're an Avery."

"I'm an Avery."

"Well…I'd like you to be my Avery."

Jackson snorted and rolled away from Mark, shaking his head. "Oh God."

"That was really cheesy wasn't it?" Mark said, snuggling up to Jackson, this time Mark's body was the one that conformed to Jackson's. Pressing right up against him and kissing his bare shoulder.

"Yeah it was. In fact I think it was the cheesiest thing I've ever heard." Jackson replied, squirming against Mark and laughing some more as Mark tickled his sides.

"Shut up!"

"Hey I'm not the one spouting cheesy pick up lines. What is this? Singles night for the over 60's at the local shit kicking bar?"

"Whatever. Do you want to be my Avery or not Jackson?" Mark asked, kissing along his shoulder now. Jackson rolled over and pressed his body up against Mark's, sliding his hand over his belly and around to his lower back, pulling him close. Their bodies tangled together whilst they stared at each other for a few moments, nose to nose, silence between them and for just a second Mark thought Jackson was going to say thanks but no thanks. Then he leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Mark's lips, gentle and loving and right away Mark knew the answer.

"I'll always be your Avery."


End file.
